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Machete 
Directed By: Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis 
Written By: Robert Rodriguez and Alvaro Rodriguez 
Starring: Danny Trejo, Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Steven Seagal and Jeff Fahey

Machete is not a serious film, its not a deep character study, its not an uplifitng inspirational tale, it isnt really that good but what Machete is, is enjoyable, violent, tasteless and out of control in good and bad ways. Whats Machete about? an ex Mexican federal is out for revenge on the U.S  politicians who double crossed him as well as the Mexican drug lord who murdered his family. 


Machete is designed as a throwback to the 70s grindhouse B movies that were poorly shot, had ridiculous stories, cheesy dialogue, poor performances and a large body count. For the first 5 minutes Machete is demonstrably that type of film, with the screen and film scratching and crackling the way those cheap films did, however the film only keeps up that style for about 5 minutes, leaving the rest of the film looking like a perfect 100 million dollar blockbuster. Machete also briefly suffers from what made films like Salt and The Expendables so intolerable is that in some moments it takes itself ever so slightly to seriously, now Machete is way more fun than both of those films however the preaching and explicit nature of the immigration story line did not work at all. Also for a film that is homaging the cheap and fast slice em ups ,the film is oddly baggy and is much longer than it should be, the film is screaming out for Machete to use his trusty weapon to cut out a lot of the film unnecessary and pointless scenes and characters. This overlong running time leads to the film being rather dull in sections, however part of that is down to Danny Trejo...


When cutting off peoples heads and hands Danny Trejo is a terrific screen presence but when the action stops and you give him scenes actually involving dialogue he is an incredibly uncharismatic and boring screen presence. I know everybody loves Trejo but unless he is constantly killing people he is not the most engrossing actor. It doesn't help that the film gets caught up sometimes in its overly complicated conspiracy plot. The film would have been much stronger if it had merely focused on a Mexican, with a machete looking for revenge but instead it piles on a political conspiracy and messages about immigration that seriously drag the film down and stop it from being as fun as you want it to be. The biggest problem with Machete is its excess of characters, the killer priest gag was done much better in Hot Fuzz, Lindsay Lohans role was utterly pointless and should of hit the cutting room floor and the film had about 4 villains to many. 


Despite all those problems however Machete is a fun action film. Robert De Niro is fantastic in all his scenes as the racist senator, however the star of the film is undoubtedly Jeff Fahey who plays his villainous role to absolute perfection. Its the knowing sense of humour and action though that makes this film what it is. Action highlights of the film include a gatling gun attached to a motorbike, a mans intestines being used to assist a jump out of a window, using a gun enclosed in a decapitated hand and a 360 move with a knife decapitating heads in its wake. If any of that sounds exciting to you then this is a film that you should see. Also the music and overall cheesy tone to the film help, with the best gag being saved right till the very end with the titles of the "upcoming" Machete sequels. 


Overall Machete is all over the place, it needs to be much shorter and lose about half of its characters as well as suffering from a lack of simplicity. When Machete kicks into gear however it is an incredibly enjoyable film and despite all its problems i wouldn't mind seeing Rodriguez make a follow up to this, though he should make a proper From Dusk Till Dawn follow up first. Not as good as Piranha 3D which ultimately did this type of homage film better but an enjoyable film with great action and a fantastic performance from Jeff Fahey. And remember...Machete doesn't text. 


One Sentence Summary: An overly complicated plot and excess of characters stop this rampaging Mexican from being as fun as he should be. 

6/10


By Michael Dalton
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